Most non-scripting languages are faster than Ruby (Rust: tremendously so), but few (Crystal?) can match its optimisation for developer happiness and productivity. Let’s try to gauge Ruby’s chances when it comes to matching modern performance expectations: Are the changes in recent CRuby versions significant? Can JRuby bring enough JVM performance? And – to address the titular Frankenstein – how easily can we harness the power of Crystal, Rust, C or even assembly from within our Ruby applications?