Here's a situation we've all be in at one point. We have a program. We want to make that program faster. We know about threads, processes, fibers. Then you start programming and you have no clue what to do. I was there. It sucks. This talk guides you down the rabbit hole and brings out the other side. Points covered: Threads, Fibers, Processes, Forking, Detaching, Parellelism vs Concurrency, The many many different ways I crashed my computer learning these things, Gotchas of each, Common ways you shoot yourself in the foot, Celluoid. This is a learning and informative talk. It's target at intermediate developers who have ruby experience but never written any multi threaded code.