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Several Horror Stories About The Encrypted Web

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You would think that encrypting Internet protocols would be a simple matter of applying a trapdoor one-way function to all of your messages. In reality, encrypting the Web is a more sordid and byzantine undertaking. In this talk we will report upon a number of the more ghastly things we've encountered while working on the Let's Encrypt and HTTPS Everywhere projects, and on new methods you can use to stay safe and sane in this Lovecraftian world.